


The Dangers of Web Conferencing

by minionofmoo



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Gen, Oops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-28
Updated: 2015-12-28
Packaged: 2018-05-09 22:47:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5558456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minionofmoo/pseuds/minionofmoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joker learns a valuable lesson when it comes to sharing and displaying his extranet screen during a staff presentation. A very short oneshot set during ME1. Disclaimer in the notes. Sadly based off a true story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Dangers of Web Conferencing

Shepard had found it next to impossible to concentrate on what Joker had been saying during his report. It was around the quarter way mark that she had noticed what was now the focus of her attention. The discovery alone was enough to shock the hell out of her; the reactions of her squad as more and more of them became aware of what she had seen didn't help. But here they were at the end of the presentation, and all she could do was survey the people around her if only to temporarily avoid having to say something.

Kaidan sat in his chair which his arms crossed over his chest, his lips pressed tightly together as his eyebrows looked as they were about to merge with his hairline. At least he was sitting relatively still. Ashley kept leaning forward and biting her lip, before reclining back into her seat; her Cheshire cat grin and rising and falling shoulders giving away that she was barely containing her laughter.

The non-humans in her team weren't faring any better. Garrus had both mandibles tightly pressed against his face, although the occasional flick gave away that he was probably suppressing the urge to laugh. At least he was better at hiding it than Williams. Tali sat with her head down; her hands nervously fidgeting in her lap. The most recent addition to her crew, Dr. Liara T'Soni, sat in awe as her cheeks were turning a even deeper shade and more interesting shade of blue. Wrex just shook his head as he stared at the display screen and tried to keep the volume of his chuckling to a minimum.

"Soooo…does anyone have questions?" Joker's disembodied voice said over the comm.

In her peripheral vision Shepard could see Wrex and Ashley begin to open their mouths to say something. With a raised hand, Shepard silenced them before they even had a chance to speak. If something was going to be said, it was her duty as commanding officer to do it.

"Excellent report Joker. Although, a word of advice…before you allow others to see your extranet screen, especially for something that is going to be displayed in a more public setting, you may want to get rid of any incriminating evidence ahead of time. I'm not sure how Admiral Hackett or Captain Anderson would react to you having links to sites like _Fornax_ or _Diving into the Deep Blue: Hot Maiden on Maiden Action_ in your favourites bar," Shepard miraculously managed to say in her most diplomatic tone.

A momentary pause that seemed to drag on for eternity passed before the helmsman replied.

"Oh shi-," Joker began to say before Shepard used her omni-tool to cut the comm.

It took only 30 seconds after cutting the comm for Shepard to begin clutching her sides and howling with laughter, a full 20 minutes before everyone in attendance could stop laughing and regain enough composure to return to duty, and an entire week before Joker could make eye contact with any of them.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: BioWare owns the characters and universe, I just like playing in their sandbox.
> 
> Written under the effects being tweaked out on sugar and sleep deprivation. Huzzah!
> 
> Based on a true story. Before you wonder, it wasn't me who had their questionable favourites toolbar exposed in a work setting. I was one of the ones who had to bite their finger to keep from giggling during almost the entire meeting.


End file.
